Saturday, January 31, 2009

They used to let fat guys be lead singers: Crappy Video of the week

Fat Hobos used to be lead singers.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Black Dynamite - Hell Yeah

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I know my rights

Vegans have better sex?

PETA claims vegans have better sex.
When WDCSD staff was polled on the validity of the PETA ad many agreed that eating a giant steak and some potato fritters then jumping in bed to knock one out isn't the best sex they have ever had. Many of the WDCSD staff commented that they were concerned about "letting one go" in bed after eating a big chunk of meat. Rip Salsa posed the question, "Has anyone smelled a broccoli fart?"
Good question Rip.


Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Will the People Rise?


2000 here, 4000 there .. you know what I'm talking about, people losing their jobs.

Of course not everyone is unemployed.

Makes you wonder when someone finally says 'fuck it' and decided to punish the real criminal.

Alex Bogusky remakes the famous Coke commercial with Mean Joe Green

Is there a chance Alex would remake the bible?
Nothing is sacred with those dudes in Miami and Boulder.
First they reanimated Orville and now a weak attempt at a hip Superbowl ad using a dude name "Mean Troy"

Texans have to decide between food or beer...Beer always wins in Texas


Many Texans are having to decide between beer and food.
Beer wins.
ARTICLE

Monday, January 26, 2009

4 hours 29 minutes and Triathlons



You know those people brag about running a marathon. Not real runners because they don't boast about shit like that. I'm talking about people, usually out of shape women, who don't train for more than two weeks and think moving their bodies for 5 hours is some tremendous feat.

4 hours 29 minutes, that was Oprah's time. Memorize that. You can't use it against the stupid women for obvious reasons, but the stupid men that brag about marathons, shit, if you can't beat Oprah then fuck off and shut up.

Now those same morons think that swimming two laps in a pool, walking a mile and riding a bike two miles is a 'triathlon'. Fuck them. If I can see fat on your upper arms then you're not a triathlete, or any sort of athlete.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Like everything else Hollywood abandons Canada

Another bummer for the nice guys up north.
Hollywood leaves Canada high and dry.
ARTICLE

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Another crappy band you should have forgot.

Nothing like a thirty-something singing a song about hooking up with a pre- adult.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Gotta Love the Passion, and Crying

Typical east coast NFL football loser.

Burger King Buys Back Into NASCAR


The King is back on the track after a year off to chase down foreigners who have never eaten a burger. They picked a team that had a driver that looks like he enjoys one or two Whoppers while wheeling around the track. Quoted in the article is David Root the head of Burger King's adult promotions and sponsorships as saying.
"the renowned loyalty of NASCAR fans is a prime reason for the fast food chain to get back on the track, and noted that the Burger King brand “resonates” well with NASCAR fans."
I think BK is a little wrong in this assessment, NASCAR fans just love grease and would just as likely pull over at McDonald's or Denny's (assuming their white) on the way home from a NASCAR event. It all depends on when they need to pee out the seven quarts of Busch Light they consumed as they sunburned their arms and big ass bellies during the race, and that's just the women.
NASCAR you go!


Ace Frehley trashes Gene

Thursday, January 22, 2009

The South doesn't just love their chicken fried.


Step your game up Virginia!

1. TEXAS-425
2. VIRGINIA-102
3. OKLAHOMA-88
4. MISSOURI-66
5. FLORIDA-66
6. NORTH CAROLINA-43
7. GEORGIA-43
8.SOUTH CAROLINA-40
9.ALABAMA-39
10-LOUISIANA-27
Has anyone done a study on the relationship of boiled peanuts sold and number of executions in a state?
Fun fact: Lethal injection was “invented” in Oklahoma
For more fun take a Death row quiz
On a positive note only 8 out of 10 of top Gonorrhea States are from the South.
Per 100,000 people
1. Mississippi (257.1)
2. South Carolina (242.5)
3. Louisiana (240.6)
4. Alabama (234.0)
5. Georgia (216.8)
6. North Carolina (199.4)
7. Delaware (176.0)
8. Missouri (175.9)
9. Ohio (167.4)
10. Tennessee (162.6)
But Alabama should be the proudest
being in the top 10 of STD's and Execution

When little people attack


All I can say is nice work little man

Sarah says goodbye

Even the fattest are getting skinny

Not Meatloaf but Microsoft and Intel are dropping pounds and pounds of employees in 2009.
Best Buy is happy knowing that many of their future employees will be over qualified and extremely bitter.


Iron Maiden documentary set for spring release

Shouts of elation are being heard from basements throughout America!
Iron Maiden is releasing a documentary set in the Spring of 2009 and headbangers are waiting in nervous anticipation. Iron Maiden fans never die, they just don't move out of mom and dad's house. Iron Maiden is doing the world a service by releasing this tasteful piece of history as aluminum cans will be gathered to purchase this art work, lawns will be mowed as parents bribe their adult children into doing long forgotten chores, less cash will be circulated through out the dope smoking community as Maiden CD's will be exchanged for weed. This is a great day!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Happy Countries...Did yours make the list?


No North Korea and no Iraq and that was to be expected but I am guessing the British researchers who put this together didn't like George Bush and the Obama led United States will be on the 2009 list. The list doesn't help Bollywood, India ranked 125.


http://images.businessweek.com/ss/06/10/happiest_countries/index_01.htm?chan=rss_topSlideShows_ssi_5

Oprah is fat....Again

The rich and powerful Oprah is fat again.
Personally I like the fat Oprah much better, the Oprah of 'The Color Purple' who is gonna slice Danny Glover in to Bacon Bit sized pieces of meat. That was the fat Whoopie and not Oprah? My bad.

Chicken Wing Shortage

The United States is seeing a chicken wing shortage as the hordes of the unhealthy gather up their Superbowl watching foods. What's next a run on littl' smokies? Will we see lines like a Star Wars opening ,waiting for their ration of Blue Cheese Smokey Chipolata Doritos?
The end is near.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Crappy Video of the Week

Here's a ground breaking video from the 80's that any 12 year old can duplicate today.

Alex Bogusky strikes deal with U.S. Airways

Alex Bogusky's newest idea has the ad world scratching it's head.
CP+B stuck a deal with U.S. Airways to have all plane crash survivors do a burger taste test to see which burger people who are exposed to life threatening situations prefer.
Following the successful yet controversial Whopper Virgins campaign, which many ad insiders are calling the snuff film of burger ads, Alex has needed to one up the stakes of the burger battles.

"Being barefoot and writing diet books is okay but I just need to live life on the edge."
We hear you Al and wish you the best.

Turns out Mr. Peanut is a bad ass

Mr. Peanut is kicking ass right now but Mr. Salty is no slouch lauching comebacks and is ramping up his ability to kill a few folk with high blood pressure.
ARTICLE

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Why all the wife beaters in Lufkin?


I have never seen so many weird stories about beating up women.
Lufkin must have a slogan 'Lufkin ...We learn our women to listen'.



Saturday, January 17, 2009

Cult of the Snuggie - Join Today!

Some guy bought a shitload of fabric from India at a great price, then had a bunch of people from China sew sleeves on them again for a great price, then made this commercial (first video), that proceeded to piss off this guy (second video).




OBAMA'S SURPRISED MANY WITH CABINET APPOINTMENT

Obama surprised many with appointment of Buddy Jones Hastens of Burmingham Florida
to the Czar of Hanguns.



Give yourself 1 minute and you'll watch the whole thing.

Friday, January 16, 2009

The Crying Game


Looks like Boy George, (I think he's the guy on the right not the guy on the left?) is going to jail for a month or two, or 15, something like that. When he gets out he'll give us another remix of The Crying Game. We'll keep you up to date.

Prison officers 'smuggle' McDonald's Big Macs into Belmarsh

Tragedy!? Or another stunt meaning to out punk people who have never eaten a burger from McDonald's, a oneupmanship over Burger Kings Whopper Virgins. I can visualize the pitch.

McDonald's Executive - Could you repeat that maybe I missed the beat of the ad
Marketer-We go into a rugged Texas prison and ask a man on death row to decide which burger of the two tastes better
McDonald's Executive-What theme would you give these?
Marketer-Your Last Meal should be a Happy one.
McDonald's Executive-Good let's go with it.
Greig Box Turnbull writes: The inmates – both drug dealers – were questioned and claimed an officer had sneaked it in. The named officer was suspended while an inquiry was launched. Belmarsh bosses are said to be furious that the food got in despite the jail in Woolwich, South East London, supposedly having Britain’s tightest security. I watched that Danny Day Lewis movie where he went to prison and wrote on the walls with human feces. Tight British Prison Security is like saying Quality U.S.A. Reality Television


Thursday, January 15, 2009

RIP Khan


RIP Ricardo Montalban - you were a badass.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Harry Potter Renames His Horse

The guy that play's Harry Potter, whatever his name is, changed his horse's name so Americans would feel more comfortable when he strokes his horse on stage, every night in front of stunned children. Next stop for Harry P, TJ!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Guitar shredder Ted Nugent offers box set

#1 'asked for' on most terrorists' year end must have list of 2009

According to an article at freep.com
How 'bout a six-set retrospective ("Nugent," "Penetrator," "Little Miss Dangerous," "If You Can't Lick 'Em ... Lick 'Em," "Spirit of the Wild" and "Full Bluntal Nugity") that will be reissued by Eagle Rock Entertainment on Feb. 3. Awesome, indeed.

Sweet Jesus! Get me a camp shovel and a roll of toliet paper I have to clean WDCSD's CD player that smells like shit now. SIX-SET RETROSPECTIVE? Ted Nugent six-set retrospective? The world is coming to an end the five words we humans should have never whispered
Ted Nugent six-set retrospective.

Maybe Ted's right


WDCSD Top 5 Films of 2008




1. The Wrestler - Mickey kicks ass, period.

2. The Wrestler - what other movie in 2008 has the song 'Balls to the Wall" in it?

3. The Wrestler - Marisa Tomei as Cassidy.

4. The Wrestler - "The eighties fucking ruled, man, until that pussy Cobain came and fucked it all up. Like there's something wrong, why not just have a good time? "


5. The Wrestler - Um, did you see his van?

George the giant lobster liberated



Yes! A giant lobster is freed from the watery prison at City Crab and Seafood restaurant in Manhattan. An old time lobster named George is taken from a tank located in Manhattan and released in the stormy waters of Maine. Some claimed George the Lobster was 140 years old but local scientist were lead to believe the claim was false, they netted, recaptured and sliced open the lobster to harvest his organs and to prove this fact to be false.
"This crusty old bastard is only 83"
Tasty but only 83.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Larry Flynt is calling for Congress to bail out Hustler





ARTICLE

Convicts sue over frozen chicken dinner


A guy in Prison with the last name Butts is suing ConAgra foods for a half a million because he ate some chicken that still had some bits and pieces that were attached to a meal he bought from the prison store.


Tuesday, January 6, 2009

“Worst. Macworld. Ever.”

Macworld sucked this year.



FAST FOOD IS NOT WHAT IS MAKING THE WORLD FAT

Just in case you were wondering a new study from credible sources, UC BERKLEY and NORTHWESTERN UNIVERSITY, claim that the common nutritional myth that eating fast food makes you fat is false.
So can we please stop using the picture of the two fat kids chumming a bucket of fries at McDonald's? Okay one more time.



ARTICLE

Universial Studios Sells off Rogue Division




Relativity Media buys Rogue Pictures for $150 million dollars.
Rogue makes these films that scare the 25 and under crowd, films like "The Strangers" that cost 'only' $9 million dollars and brought in over $50 million.
Rogue also has a movie coming out that has all the dogs with upside down heads and the creepy little kid that I know I have seen in the toy section of Wal.Mart.
"The Unborn"

ARTICLE


SARAH PALIN'S DAUGHTER GETS A BABY GIFT FROM PETA

PETA proves they write wonderful music but Roseanne Barr is their lead singer.

PETA and all their wacky tactics still pale in comparison to Ted Turner's Remark.
"WE'RE ALL GONNA EAT EACH OTHER FOR SNACKS"







Japanese Whalers Hunt for Crew Member Lost in Antarctic Waters

Whales caught a break today.



Monday, January 5, 2009

Top 10 causes of dog poisoning

"Hello Pet 9-11 my dog ate my pills!"
The ASPCA's Animal Poison Control Center logged more than 140,000 cases of dogs, cats, and other pets exposed to toxic substances in 2008. The most common call -- accounting for almost one-third of those placed to the center's 24-hour hot line -- involved human medications.


AOD in PLAYBOY



































Aubrey O'Day to pose for Playboy. She plays in a band...We think
Why? I thought Playboy was only good at saving old people now.

I TOLD YOU SHE WAS ONE CRAZY McBITCH













McDonald's worker charged with murder while working.


ARTICLE

Crispin Porter + Bogusky win an award from Adweek

YEAH! CP+B is "BUZZWORTHY"
AMERICA! PIZZA! ALEX!

ARTICLE

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Sam Shepard busted for having monkey meat.













Sam Shepard was busted for drinking and speeding, he didn't have monkey meat but a lady mentioned in the same article did. Sam also has been living with Jessica Lang forever and the scientific fact that she grew old contributed to his drinking. Mamie Manneh lost her appeal to have monkey meat for breakfast.
ARTICLE


Saturday, January 3, 2009

Crappy Video of the Week

Sometimes you just need a little Mr. Big.

STARBERRY to the Celtics?

Sweet Jesus! Is Starberry's new nickname "the Black Leprechaun"?
WHO ELSE SEES A LEPRECHAUN? SAY YEAH! A Celtic? Coach Killa goes to Boston?


McDonald's Employee saves children from kidnapper


McDonald's Employee saves two children from an attempted kidnapping.
Serenity LaChappelle is being called a hero after rescuing two children from an alleged predator.
McDonald's rewarded Serenity with 38.8 hours, just under full time but not enough to qualify for any benefits, and made her re-read the McDonald's handbook on interfering with criminal activity.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Actors' son Jett Travolta dies at 16


Sad Story about Actor's family.

thecelebritycafe.com claims Courtney Love Is a “Fur Whore”


PETA claims Courtney Love is a "Fur Whore"
WDCSD think they could have left out "Fur"
Courtney Love has received our SCABBY award every year since 1999 , when WDCSD was a printed rag found only at Greyhound and ABC bus stations and not some fancy Internet site.


Pac-10 is the greatest unless you work in Conn.

ESPN always hypes the wrong coast, the East coast. PAC-10 kicked ass and WDCSD found a pie graph to prove it. How can you call a conference soft when you have the USC defense killing everybody sans the OSU Beavers game (Pac-10)? It might be a downer to have Lit'l Canada in your conference, UofW and WSU, but don't judge by the bottom unless your J-lo.
5-0 in Bowl games... BEAT DOWN!
Just look at the other teams less the blow out that the Gators ( Ole Miss any good?) are going to put on the Oil sippin' Sooners (Billy Simms drunk?). NO QUESTION

Zoo Keeper Builds Giant Fake Vagina for Lonely Walrus

Holley Muraco has a very unique job, one that would get her an odd look at speed dating and cause many awkward moments in some social settings.
"So what do you do?"
"Where do you find the material for a project like that?"
"In essence you're the Larry Flint of the underwater mammalian adult industry?"
"What kind of ROI do you get on one of those?"
Holley has constructed similar body parts for horses, cows and pigs but it sounds like this the first walrus parts she has made. If this gig doesn't work I know there is a certain hedge hog that would let her construct a body part for her.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Another list that involves idiots from Florida

The top arrests from the Beaches Police Department in Florida. WDCSD would love to start the new year with the hopes of less idiots and punks roaming the streets of the America but it won't happen and WDCSD will stick to the traditional list of goals and resolutions and hope that we shelter our staff and extended families from these idiots who just seem to flock to Florida, Texas and going to jail over a $.69 package of pressed ham is not unusual. WDCSD staff know that one really hot young girl from South Carolina will be having lots and lots of children soon.