Do you enjoy cheating on your significant other?

America's newest website-

CheaterVille.com

Just what we needed. Rip thought Rate my poo was the best site but I was wrong, America loves to cheat.

Also-

World map of penis sizes. No wonder we are at war with some countries. It isn't oil, it isn't freedom, it isn't terrorism...Nope it's penis envy.

No wonder my friends call me Congo.

Louis Murphy, WR for the Raiders, former Florida Gator and Viagra User?

It’s bad enough he plays for the Raiders, which is a step down from the Gators, but getting busted with Viagra? Come on Louis, you’re 23 years old and you don’t seem like a roid using, ball shrinker like Barry Bonds. Why do you need Viagra? When I was 23 I could, and would, achieve wood anytime and anyplace. Now that I’m an old man, well who am I kidding, I still achieve wood on demand… just as long as I get a good nap in afterwards.

Katie Couric to Exit the CBS Evening News

Rip Salsa’s heartwarming post about colon awareness month got me thinking about Katie Couric and her exit from the CBS Evening News. Nobody watches network news, that’s something we can all agree on, but when Katie leaves CBS this June I wonder what she’ll leave behind?

Will it be the five NYC phone books she had to sit on in order to be in frame?

Or the coffee mugs with her face on them?

One thing is for sure, Brian Williams can’t dance like Katie.

I will give Katie credit for this hilarious video.

March is Colon awareness month

I hope you didn't misread the title and thought it was Colin Cowherd awareness month.

This is something serious and even though assholes are involved it isn't about Colin Cowherd.

As Rip's family was awakened one afternoon in 2000 to Katie Couric's artful and brave live colonoscopy. She alone increased colon cancer screening by numbers that made a few doctors really really rich.

WDCSD staff member Art Banks was most likely saved by Katie. Art is our television critic who spends a lot of time sitting on his ass and doing as little as possible.

A ripple effect occurred after Katie's gesture and other celebrities joined in, specificly Richard Gere. This video solved one of the most recognized URBAN LEGENDS EVER. We would like to thank Richard personally for his courageous act.

Enjoy the Richard Gere colonoscopy video.

Props to Lionsgate® for it's first round of Microbudget films

Rip Salsa gets this email at ripsalsa@gmail.com from these advertisement guys and they all send the same one.

"Hey D-bag try "doing" instead of being so snarky" or "Why the fuck do you hate on Cowherd so much? Get a life dickhead" After I sort through the multiple 1099 forums for my motivational speaking, my massive W-2 and counting my cash that I hide from the Mexican government I respond by asking them, "How much money do you make a year?"

WDCSD isn't just about snarkiness thrust upon certain d-bags, we have love for goodness and forward thinking people and businesses.

Lionsgate® films had a good idea with it's Microbudget films which awards budding actors and filmmakers with a chance to shine like Seth Godin's head. The first couple of films will be RAPTUREPALOOZA a post-apocalyptic comendy, GAY DUDE, a coming of age comedy with a twist, and 6 MIRANDA DRIVE, a supernatural thriller. Joe Drake, President of the Motion Picture Group at Lionsgate announced. So lick my snarky balls you haters.

Video Proof That Barry's Balls Got Smaller

The Barry Bonds trial on perjury must be a little embarrassing for the former major leaguer. Adult acne, Impotence and our favorite... shrinking balls. The mistress who reported this fact during the trial has video proof of shrinking balls on Youtube and at One minute and twenty-one seconds (1:21) you actually see Barry's marbles lose size. It is an amazing time lapse video.

Who wouldn't threaten a mistress with a beheading if you ever tell the world that your balls take on a strange shape?

Killing Me Softly with His Song – The 5 Best and Worst and Covers

Killing Me Softly with His Song, was composed by Charles Fox and Norman Gimbal with Lori Lieberman first recording the classic song in 1971. Since then it’s been covered many times. I present to you the 5 best and worst versions.

Best:

1. Roberta Flack – she put the song on the map, great voice, soulful, beautiful.

2. Perry Como – that’s right, Perry’s version is unique. Thanks P-dawg!

3. Luther Vandross – I almost put this on the worst list but Luther went for it and actually sang the feminine version, which takes balls. RIP Luther.

4. Emad Hamdy – who says you have to sing? Emad didn’t and he nailed it. Plus he has killer sideburns.

5. Dee Dee Bridgewater – similar to Roberta’s but different. Do you think her real name is simply Dee but one of her parents had a stuttering problem?

Worst:

1. Fugees – Lauren Hill has a great voice and alone she would’ve made the best list, however Wyclef Jean was a member of the Fugees and he ruined it. In fact I hear that’s the reason Wyclef got shot in the hand.

2. Engelbert Humperdinck – we at WDCSD appreciate Engelbert’s talent just not this time.

3. Cleo Laine – umm, no.

4. Anne Murray – the great Canadian singer doesn’t quite interpret the song correctly.

5. Electric Coconut – the Moog Synthesizer didn’t work and put against this weird Japanese flick called Zero Woman it's something that would make a car salesmen’s acid trip turn bad in a hurry.

Note: I’m sure the great Mel Torme covered it but I couldn’t find a video.

It's Over! Robin Hood of beer has been caught.

I wish it would have never happened but it did, the streak is over at 100 cases of beer.

The Mexican sounding bandit, Santiago Martinez, was caught after "stealing" beer from multiple stores from Thanksgiving though Spring Break. The Texas based thief enjoyed 18-packs of beer and we all know all good beer comes in 18-packs. If you think about it the 18-pack is best suited for the beer dash. While dashing for beer, the 24 pack is a little too heavy and not shaped correctly, the 6-packs of classy beer are glass and damage much easier than a can, and why go 12-pack when the manufactures of fine beer make an 18-pack? Santiago it was a good run

Sammy Hagar Not Accused of Stuffing His Pants with a Cucumber but was Abducted by Aliens

Sammy says he couldn’t explain his abduction for a long time because he didn’t understand technology “but now I’m pretty sure it was a wireless situation.”

He also said David Lee Roth is a dick. But if there's ever a chest hair competition, David wins.

Do you ever get sick of the guys and gals that tell you Revelations are upon us

A guy at the office (Okay the bum that gave me 11 dollars to sleep in my van instead of dying in the freezing weather) kept going on and on about the end of the world and how China was the 200 million man army described in Revelations (A book in the bible, I Google searched Revelations, it's in there ) Shit I always thought it was an Iron Maiden song. Google searching is awesome, I came across this TOOL that has ACTUAL proof of armies of satin gathering in China and Russia, The Trumpet wars. Ken Raggio will teach you all about the end of the world, I am guessing after you sign up you can "help" him spread the word.

Click on the link and you can send all your buddies mini bibles. I love guys that study the bible harder than everyone else. I will bet the farm that Gary at Walla Walla, where I spent two miserable years among killers and sick fuckers, can find more time in a book than anywhere else. I guess someone attempting to slit your throat brings you closer to God. If you have a lifetime to read, you read stuff over and over and over and over.

I just can't follow a guy that makes shitty videos in his manufactured home.

Along with posing in tight underwear Men's Health encourages me to have sex.

Men's Health has an article on having sex with your old girlfriend using Facebook to plan your hookup. Glad Men's Health took time off it's classy top 10 bulging bicep exercises that women like, top 10 reason why your boner doesn't work and other important things to encourage cheating.

If you have the joy of reading Men's Health online. You have to read an article in 10 parts so they can get revenue from the ad hits on each page load. (Tip: When you read Men's Health always go to the PRINT icon and that way you can read the entire story without the annoying NEXT> shit)

BTW who the fuck would take career and money advise from Men's Health? Just keep to the ideal penis shit and leave the money to Forbes.

Rip Salsa was wrong. The McDonald's marathoner was an athlete.

I haven't been wrong since suggesting Al Gore wear a beard but I was wrong about the McDonald's Marathoner. We here at Whatever Drugs Car Salesmen Do hate marathoners, not for the extreme training or the miles and miles to ready yourself and not just a hate for the reason of hating. We hate it for the fatso, pseudo-runners that do it as a life changing event or want to prove a point. The rich lady with her own network is the best example of the whole, "I ran a marathon and no one can take that away from me."

Back to me being wrong, more wrong than Seth Godin picking All Marketers are Liars for the title of a book, more wrong than mouthing off to a Utah Cop.

I was blasting Joe D'Amico for being like Morgan Spurlock in nut hugging shorts, eating at McDonald's while training for a marathon. This cat ran a sub 3 hour Marathon, 2 hours 36 minutes and 14 seconds. Joe D'Amico is an athlete. Sub 6 minute miles for 26.2 miles is a man. Once high on coke and nutmeg I ran 14 minutes at that pace being chased the three headed guard of Hades, Cerberus, and my heart exploded.

Joe, WDCSD is sorry and punch me in the balls next time you see me in the same marathon, I am the one in a NASA diaper.

A Meat slick on Illinois Hwy

Parts is Parts

A meat spill was cleaned up on an Illinois hwy when a truck hauling "Reused animal rendering material" overturned. The spill was cleaned up by Cargill even though they said "It wasn't our fault" They headed out with a little Tide detergent and some cold water and made the road drivable again. The load was intended to be used as an ingredient in pet food. One of the workers got Kirstie Alley and Val Kilmer's autographs when they thought the smell was a road side taco vendor instead of a meat spill

Ban on Menthol Cigarettes is unKool and so is Alex Bogusky

I don’t think I’ll ever know what drugs car salesmen do, but I’m pretty sure some of them smoke menthol cigarettes. And for those of you that are Kool and smoke Newport cigs you better start hoarding your ciggy’s because that’s exactly what your outdoor smoking buddies are doing.

Although smoking menthol cigs doesn’t fuck you up any more than smoking regular cigarettes the FDA still wants to ban them. Why? Because they say that banning menthol cigarettes is good for public health. Hmm, what about banning all cigarettes? Then banning chewing tobacco. Then alcohol. Then sugar. Then television. Then Adam Sandler movies. Yeah, that makes sense.

Of course Alex Bogusky will happily support banning everything… except fast food. Oh, above is a photo of Alex channeling his inner John Denver. One thing you should know, Alex, John Denver was a hard working, talented musician who will always be remembered. Alex will be remembered as a hypocritical douchebag. Or a sociopath.

Pam Anderson's next movie? THE BEAVER

I was wrong about the movie

Even though there is a rumor Mel might have fisted Pam's beaver and that is why he got hammered and drove around Malibu in an anti-semantic stupor. I pitched that as premise to Universal Studios in 2009 and even though Steve Zahn was perfect for the roll I was escorted out.

Nope it's a movie that Mel actually fists a beaver puppet.

Let the spin begin CP+B and BK split

I was going to mention the split. Just Google Search it.

Thank goodness all things cool come and go.

One of my cell mates had a picture of Twiggy up on the wall.

I asked him who the hell is that? He choked me out and I died for at least 4 minutes.

COACH KILLER

CP+B wins our daily Google Alert contest

They are the master of self promotion.

CP+B have five Google Alerts by noon.

1. NY TIMES

2. Brand-e.biz

3. AD WEEK (Nice Subaru Beard Conrad)

4. crain's new york business

5. Creativity

6. WDCSD

Woman falls off shitter at McDonald's and you'll never guess who is getting sued

This time it isn't boiling coffee scalding your nuts, McDonald's made you fat, Grease Tax, Finger in the fries or anything regarding your food. It was the shitter that got McDonald's sued. Some fat ass broad, Cherry Hardie, (Just guessing she is fat as a house because it's the fat broads that bust my toilet) fell off the toilet seat in a Chicago area McDonald's reaching for paper. She hurt her arm and shoulder and is claiming she is disabled because of the ordeal. Words used by her obviously fat lawyer were "Severe shock to her nervous system" and "$30,000" pay it and waddle away.

'Cause it is all about the delicious choices.

RIP Nate Dogg… and Thanks for the Blunt

Nate Dogg, may you rest in peace.

Most media outlets are praising Nate Dogg’s contributions to the world of hip hop and R & B. We at WDCSD do not agree. We think he made contributions to the whole fucking world of music. Nate Dogg created, most people don’t do shit.

True story:

The Verizon cable guy came over to do an installation last year and as usual it was supposed to take a half hour… it took 6 fucking hours. But Carlos, the cable guy, was cool. See most of the time Carlos and I were just waiting for the assholes back at the Verizon headquarters to answer a few simple questions he had. While waiting we started talking and Carlos told me he knew Nate Dogg and that he was the coolest celeb cable install he’s ever done. So I immediately put in a CD that featured Nate Dogg. Carlos immediately produced a nice fat blunt. We smoked and listened to some sweet music while waiting for the Verizon man to pull his head out of his ass. So, thanks for the blunt, Nate Dogg.

Who doesn't love a good Hitler story

For a guy that had such an impact on history that little fucker never seems to go away.
An article has some pictures of his babe Eva in a row boat. The thing about Hitler is he got a lot of good people to follow him and his evil ways. The best example of this is a radio host for ESPN, the corporate shill, Colin Cowherd. There is no doubt that prick would be a Nazi. If his boss came in and said, "Meet your new boss, Mr. Hitler." Colin would be on board in a second, after all he is the boss and if you can't be first be interesting. Hitler was first and interesting so on your knees and bow to the boss.