Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Alex Bogusky stunt double for Tom Cruise

Seriously, how is this NOT Alex during his long hair phase... er, sorry. During his Cool Long Hair Phase, cause anything Alex does has to be cool.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I love midgets

Rip Salsa often asks his Colored friends and his Oriental friends which commercials they find offensive.
Many of Oriental friends found the Burger King Midget Farming Commercial the most offensive. I guess I don't understand, but Toby my Colored friend just laughed out loud and yelled to me in the movie theater that I just don't get it. You have to look deep into the commercial to see just how creative Crispin Porter and Bogusky got on the zinger of a commercial.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Gotta Love Boulder

"A 46-year-old man was found shirtless, drunk and urinating on the side of the road in east Boulder County "  

Friday, April 24, 2009

Man loses weight by eating nothing but McDonald's

Move over Jarred here comes Skinny Ronald.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The Rocker kills division of Fox but manager promoted

It always sucks to be the little guy.
Screw up, Screw up big and you get promoted.
Fox Atomic is dead
Peter Rice, thanks to Slumdog is still alive and kicking and was promoted to run all of it.

Nice job!

Sunday, April 19, 2009


Hall and Oates were college buddies and never left each other's Private Eyes.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

17 Again

How much pain can one take?
The title should have been Pain Tolerance and not 17 again.
Zac Efron?  Soon he will be remembered like that kid that was on T.V. with Alan Thick.
I am sure the Gay dollar and the Tween dollar will propel this to #4 or # 5 this week.
I bet if some movie goer shot them self at a Zac Efron movie and instead of The Watchmen it would have made national news

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Childhood Dream: Job: Clown: Future Killer

Who knew you had to interview to be a clown?
I thought you just had to have the desire to kill someone later but it turns out you have to interview and go through a try out.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Ron Jeremy Interview with AMI

Story lines are important

Sunday, April 12, 2009

The Funniest Movie of 2009 - Bruno

Sacha Baron Cohen, comic genius.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Ontario doctors urge menus with calorie counts

Style or Substance?
Do we really think the listing of calories make people turn around and walk out.
Education is great and it keeps Rip Salsa eating fish taco's on whole wheat tortillias, but Rip attended and graduated from the College of the Holy Cross and had to take a Chemistry of Food class, Rip Knows.
Guys in their car eating before a sales call he doesn't care, he shouldn't because the stress of not selling enough will cause his heart to explode anyway.
The guy that decides to kill himself while checking out Watchmen won't care either.
Give up on the calorie counting Canada and just give into our fat ass way of doing things.

Shirtless Dad's Flock to BK after latest Gem

Targeting the 30 year old crowd who enjoys the sponge bob kid's meal?
Droves of Shirtless Dad's singing this song as they reward their new girlfriend's kid with a cheeseburger and fries with the promise of not coming into the bedroom later that evening.
After five years of milking the Subservient Chicken and getting used to the creepy headed BK guy and that dude that used to go by HOOTIE now singing country music for real.  The luster of the cute chicken is lessened.  Hell PETA can't even get any run off the King anymore.  I don't blame Rob for turning his back on BK money for the Golden Ticket of MS, Rip Salsa would too.  Rip needs a golden ticket to pay off the Los Angeles water bill for my new office water fountain.

Monday, April 6, 2009

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised

Some days you just don't have a lot to say.  
Put a little Donny on the Ipod and just listen.  Donny out the window

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Moron's v. Crispin Porter and Bogusky

What happens when a Moron tries to sit at the CP+B 'Cool Table'?  You always look foolish.
What happens when you try to smack CP+B in your article? You always look foolish.
What happens when you call yourself G Man Marketing? You always look foolish.
What happens if you get arrested from drinking 40's while driving a school bus? You look like Rip.
Rip Salsa never tries to explain logically why I think some things are lame and others things are cool.  If your a fan of Football you may think every single person knows who the tight end of the Redskin's is.  Ask your mom who the tight end is for the Redskins she may say John Elway.
Geeks who try to bash CP+B for using Mac Computers to make the Microsoft ads are just geeks and forget that Mom's don't care, Mom's will just think Lauren is cute.   Who cares if Mac still gets the 'Hard Core', my computer will help me get laid crowd.  Rip Salsa has a Mac for that reason too and so does his Mom. Rip Salsa also has two refrigerators, one with meat in it and one with no meat, so I can get laid by some hot vegetarians.
Looking through my 11,000 Google Alerts I spotted an article about Microsoft that someone named SCOTT G? What are you a rapper from the 90's?   Anyway he tries to bash CP+B for not knowing anything and what happened to advertising and he just screams....
"You Kids Get Off My Lawn."
Rip Salsa hasn't slept, coming off a Vitamin K binge and ended up taking a 11 PM train to San Juan Capistrano only to lose money betting the Duck Fighting last night. Riding the Greyhound bus back to Los Feliz Blvd sucks, thank God for my wireless card.
I asked the Bum sitting next to me if he knew who the Tight End for the Redskins is?  
"BlahhFFFuchk Yu".  Nope.   


Boys Boys Boys.
I'm looking for a good time.
Middle of the road steak house bar music

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Amazing what gets you partner at W&K. Create the most boring Commercial perhaps?

Rip Salsa isn't saying being a science geek is the way to the top but it sure seems to be at Wieden & Kennedy. Those dudes added two partners and...wait...wait...this was the first time they were not from the Portland Oregon office but from the equally miserable weather destination of London. Danny W did say

“Brand advertising creates non provocative relationships with customers. It highly speaks of ethics and core values of companies. Advertising is really not about you or your business. It is about people coming in and living up their creative potential completely.”

Way to go! Let me watch this below video it's the melatonin of ads

Wieden+Kennedy names two new partners

Friday, April 3, 2009

County probes funeral home that cremated wrong body

Great quote from the article
“It’s beyond me how you could mix up a male and a female,” he said.

It isn't all that uncommon.

Here is a WDCSD list of mixing up a male and female

The list could go on.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

60 Foot Weenie... Really

Apparently in Europe a 'phallus' is a giant drawing of a dick.

I wonder how much Ron charged them to pose

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

When You Kill Someone with Your Car-Leave a Note that says "I'm Sorry"

Only in America.
Someone plows over a dude walking along the road and then pins a "I'm sorry I hit you but because I have a family and I don't want to stick around and take blame" note on the dead body. Maybe Drew Barrymore was in town, Halle Berry touring the countryside, Brandy?, Matthew Broderick or maybe it was Laura Bush's ex lover?
There is no truth that he was part of the new Burger King campaign of Sacrificing a friend and get a Whopper, as that was regarding Facebook and not human carnage. We may update this story if the note left at scene involves the sentence "Free Whopper".