RIP Nate Dogg… and Thanks for the Blunt

Nate Dogg, may you rest in peace.

Most media outlets are praising Nate Dogg’s contributions to the world of hip hop and R & B. We at WDCSD do not agree. We think he made contributions to the whole fucking world of music. Nate Dogg created, most people don’t do shit.

True story:

The Verizon cable guy came over to do an installation last year and as usual it was supposed to take a half hour… it took 6 fucking hours. But Carlos, the cable guy, was cool. See most of the time Carlos and I were just waiting for the assholes back at the Verizon headquarters to answer a few simple questions he had. While waiting we started talking and Carlos told me he knew Nate Dogg and that he was the coolest celeb cable install he’s ever done. So I immediately put in a CD that featured Nate Dogg. Carlos immediately produced a nice fat blunt. We smoked and listened to some sweet music while waiting for the Verizon man to pull his head out of his ass. So, thanks for the blunt, Nate Dogg.

Who doesn't love a good Hitler story

For a guy that had such an impact on history that little fucker never seems to go away.
An article has some pictures of his babe Eva in a row boat. The thing about Hitler is he got a lot of good people to follow him and his evil ways. The best example of this is a radio host for ESPN, the corporate shill, Colin Cowherd. There is no doubt that prick would be a Nazi. If his boss came in and said, "Meet your new boss, Mr. Hitler." Colin would be on board in a second, after all he is the boss and if you can't be first be interesting. Hitler was first and interesting so on your knees and bow to the boss.

With that guy Charlie in the news let's not forget Tiger Woods is a dumb ass.

According to Academics at the Tepper School of Business at Carnegie Mellon University have estimated that the revelations of ace golfer Tiger Woods’ two balls cost Nike, his main sponsor, the loss of 105,000 golf ball sales. Bigger than that, bigger than the millions and billions of dollars the biggest fuck up was the gorgeous wife he was tapping is gone and has a shit load of his money. There isn't 1000 waitresses or hostesses that will ever erase the fact you lost all that money. The money is gone and it will eat at you everyday and for the rest of your life. So fuck away Tiger.

I know about hot ass babes because I keep mine, she picked me up in my Vega at the Walla Walla/Washington State Penitentiary after two years of waiting. I don't need a video of me staring and James Earl Jones asking me hard questions. Who the hell does that? Todd Pendleton and WK.com is my guess.

Being in prison I am a little behind say 8 or 9 months so this is a little late and a little lame but I just can't tell you how much I think Tiger is such a dumb ass.

Marathoner to eat fast food.

Believe me being a marathoner has nothing to do with being an athlete. Being an Olympic marathoner is something different than being an ordinary marathoner. I eat every day but Joey Chestnut is a professional. Combining Joey Chestnut and Pheidippides is an awesome combination to be sure but don't get carried away
thinking it holds any weight that some no name marathoner goes Morgan Spurlock.
This guy Joe D'Amico is going to eat pancakes, burgers and fries before his next "Race" and TOPNEWS gave him an article on this tired theme.
In 1998 after robbing a Subway, I cut off my jeans and went shirtless, ran with a pack of fat ladies that walked/jogged the Portland Marathon and with cops everywhere I managed to escape the law with a time of 4 hours and 27 seconds. Faster than Oprah, faster than Freddie Prinze Jr., faster than David Lee Roth, faster than Mario Lopez and the dozens of celebrities who call themselves MARATHONERS.
We here at WDCSD hate marathoners.
You run a 10K every weekend we love you.

British Women Are Not Ugly

The King of Burger King, Bernardo Hees, thinks British women are ugly and England’s food is terrible.

We at WDCSD do not agree with him. We think Burger King is ugly and Burger King’s food is terrible. I think Bernardo is doing whatever drugs car salesmen do. I wonder what Bernardo thinks of his customers from Oakland, California?

And now, an educational video.

Catfish Movie Review

I don’t usually review movies because it’s not worth my time but I’m a friendly sort of fella and I don’t want you to waste your time with this piece of shit movie. It’s called Catfish. There is some debate whether it is or isn’t a documentary but does it really matter when the film is completely mind-numbing? But I’ll end the debate, it isn’t a documentary.

I will, however, give the marketing team some credit for making the trailer look like some sort of thriller/horror type film. It isn’t.

There was one funny part of the movie. The boring dipshit the “docu” follows around is Nev Schulman and he has a lower back tattoo. He says that he got it when he was “17 and regrets it everyday”, but had no problem showing it off in the phony, boring film. You know, if you’re some unfortunate dude who got caught up in the tattoo craze in the early 90’s and got a lower back tattoo before you knew only tramps get that stamp, then I’ll give you a pass. But this Nev idiot got his somewhere around 2005. No excuse. And even less excuse to make a boring documentary.

Hell, Ryan Kutscher even took his sunglasses off to laughed.

George Michael random saxaphone video

Taking a dump and reading my iPad

I like to take my iPad into the shitter and get a good read in while I take care of a life task. I was Reading about Forbes top billionaires wondering how some guy that used to work for me was #1 on the list?

I was perplexed that I couldn't remember the last time I ate corn?

I was wondering what the fuck did Larry Ellison do to his face when my Google Alert for "Stupid ass shit that people pay CP+B for" twanged I had a new alert. The timing was impeccable, I was on the drop box with my iPad and CP+B was involved in a study that said people are unfocused
when they use the iPad for reading. No shit! My freaking email alerts for
Victor & Spoils alone sounds like a casino...DING DING DING DING DING DING add my alerts for shirtless man arrested, plungers, the shocker, meat accident, meat, processed meat and my iPad sounds like the start of an Aldo Nova song. I can't concentrate.

Phil Collins Retires – Here’s The Real Story

Phil claimed he retired but the real story is the famed Douglas County Fair retired him.

You see, old Phil wanted to perform at the legendary Fair in Roseburg, Oregon but he got rejected. They didn’t think he was up to snuff and told him they’d rather see if The Scorpions or Little River Band or Loverboy or Kenny Loggins or Alice Cooper or Ted Nugent or Diamond Rio or Billy Idol were available. Surprisingly most of them were.

Phil said he has hearing problems, nerve damage in his hands and a bad back – all because he’s was a drummer. I asked Jack Haynes, 68, who works at the local landfill and lifts heavy shit over his head on a daily basis and has done so since he was 18 years old (that’s fucking 40 years) and Jack said this, “Phil Collins is a pussy, but for some reason I liked the song Sussudio.” The next day, when his coworkers found out Jack liked that song, he was ‘accidentally’ run over by a backhoe.

Peter Gabriel even called Phil a pussy.

Wash your asshole

REDD FOXX a Colt.45 malt liquor guy before Billy Dee and has some funny shit you can find on Youtube.

He reminds of of something really important. Wash your ass.

Rip Salsa has a few more.

Play guitar with your asshole

Jog with your asshole



Hug your asshole


Promote your asshole

Beef Sweats

I was fertilizing my roses with some kick ass mother fucking deadly chemicals that make those roses bloom like a mother fucker when I notice my neighbor leave for the Dollar Store to buy his FRS Energy drinks. I think he’s an athlete, maybe even plays for the Lakers.

Anyway, he left his garage door open and since I’m a good neighbor I went into his house to steal something. As soon as I walk in, holy fucking shit, I smelled the sweetest smell in the world. Better than cotton candy, even better than cheese from a cheese pump if you can believe that. What I smelled was BEEF BRISKET slow cooking in a crock-pot.

Knowing he’ll be at the Dollar Store for at least an hour I snoop around and find exactly what I need to get the brisket back to my house and feast – a giant zip-loc bag and a six ice cold Stella Artiois beers. (btw, that Stella Superbowl commercial sucked)

I have the 6-pack of Stella in one hand and the brisket zip locked in the other hand and can’t wait to chow down when that fucking goofy looking Laker pulls into his driveway. Fuck! He didn’t go to the Dollar Store, he picked up a hooker or his girlfriend, I can’t tell the difference. I jump behind his couch the same time he and gf/hooker walk in. They immediately start watching TV. I’m thinking two things; One – thank god he didn’t check his crock-pot. Two – why are they watching TV and not fucking in one of his 12 rooms. I mean, shit man, this guy’s house is huge and he has to sit on the same couch I’m hiding behind? Asshole. I’m rooting for the Clippers now.

I’m dying behind the couch because that brisket looks and smells so good, then it hits me. I have a fucking cell phone. So I give him a call and tell him his girlfriend just pulled into his driveway. I guessed the chick was a hooker and I guessed right! He hides the hooker upstairs and while he’s up there I slip out of his fucking mansion faster than shit.

I make it home, quickly drink two beers because that’s the proper way to prepare for potentially great beef brisket, then I slice off a piece of brisket and guess what - The. Best. Beef. Brisket. Ever. He’s the Banksy of crock-potting. I immediately get the beef sweats, and that only happens when I eat great mother fucking beef. I also decide to keep rooting for the Lakers.

MEAT GRINDER MISHAP

"Despite all safety precautions there was an unforeseen tragic accident at our plant," Brian Coelho, general manager of the plant, said in a prepared statement. "The circumstances are being fully investigated." The Associated Press March 1, 2011
First off Brian, your company makes you look like a dick. Does a guy like you have a Facebook page? What was your status update that day? "Rough Day at Work" Way to show some compassion. But you have had mishaps previous to this. Seems to me the $1000 dollar fine you had to pay was a little steep. Yes it happened again. A meat grinder death in California. I believe this is the first senior citizen that has died by the teeth of a industrial meat mincer. Leopoldo Gutierrez was 72 years old. A fucking 72 year old man working at a meat grinding plant in California? Stay classy Central Valley Meat Co. (checking for web site now)
No website? Strange I thought MUTT would come up with some catch slogan for meat. insert music a smiling illegal and then some cheesy voice over. Anyway Central Valley Meat Company has a job opening if your entering your twilight years of life and are looking for some additional income.

Rip Salsa is out of prison

Out for good behavior two years early! The day I left the Washington State Penitentiary a corrections officer was stabbed in the face, many years before on the same day Babe Ruth signed a contract for 70 grand over three years, Tab Hunter released the greatest song EVER and Crispin Porter & Bogusky sent out another self promotional viral video. What? That happens everyday? Next up is to find a job or some quick cash for a Mac book and grow a really shitty beard. I plan on hanging out in coffee shops. Wait for a hippie smelling chick desiring a "bad boy" move into her apartment allowing me to move out of this van I bought from a suspected serial killer.
Remember, no blogging in prison. The sentence for stealing a horse in Walla Walla Washington is 5 years. Fucking great to be out! I plan on crowdsourcing my cock at a whore house tonight.

Music for the gays

Sweet Jesus it is amazing how you can float down the Internet on an Google search binge and where you end up some times.  Craigslist looking at a used tequila bottle sold as an antique or ..Ahem..Accidently coming across a gay focused sight like South Florida Gay News.  According to the South Florida Gay News' "Gayvine"  Britain has it's "First radio station for gays".

Now that is SUPER!  

It's called GAYDIO and you can link to it here  - GINK  (A GAY LINK)

Helping Keep Meat on our plates

Some things in life are just not worth it.

Most Adam Sandler movies

Most Bars in Minnesota

Cops that have to remove friendless dead fat guys from apartments 

Last but not least 

Working at any job that has to use a meat grinder.

Another meat accident occured over the weekend as a man fell into "some sort of meat grinding machine."   Working at 3am on a weekend at JOBBERS MEAT PACKING COMPANY INC.   Where did your life go so bad that you are working at a meat packing plant on the weekend and working the night shift?  Do they give you Tuesday and Wednesday off?  

Is this a guy that sold his soul to play the best guitar around and now the Devil wants payback?

Personally I would take the smelly fat decompsing removal over meat packing leg amputations any day of the week.

ARTICLE

Happy Meal has new meaning

Happy does mean gay.

McDonald's spares no one from the marketing barrage and now it is targeting gays, not in the Wyoming targeting way, but as potential customers.

A helping hand to keep meat on our plate

A man lost his arm working at a meat plant. His name is Joe.

I always imagine the crew that has to clean up the accident and what a grim task that must be.

Rip loves a good steak but sweet jesus I can't stand the thought of dudes losing didgits and it ends up in the food chain.

Get better Sloppy Joe.

MAN LOSES ARM ARTICLE

SAME STORY DIFFERENT ARTICLE

Fattest Cities in the United States

We know how stupid most Texans are but you can't help but notice they are super fat, junk eating, agoraphobic diabetics.

The list of the fattest cities is a great one to look at and just wonder what the hell people are doing?

Why is Riverside the fattest city in California?

Why do people in Corpus Christi Texas run and hide when that bitch from the Biggest Loser comes to town? ( Have you noticed that she always has some porn-like look when she yells at the contestants?
I think the Warthog's penis tip is just off the edge of the picture below.)

Over at Men's Health they have the list.

ARTICLE

Top 10 Tasered Moments

Not 10 but I got 6.

Philly Fan

The Don't Tase me Bro.

Drunk A's Fan "Come on! Take it easy on him"

Eric Estrada's testicle blast

Or your getting it again

Cop can not wait to taser fat black guy

BP or BK caused massive oil slick off Gulf Coast?

On the war path again!
The King has ramped up his destructive creativity. The King growing tired of just destroying office spaces and mental institutions has moved on to bigger and better things. The destruction of the Gulf Coast fragile ecosystem was The King's latest target. PETA has claimed the oil spill was not British Petroleum's problem but those damn meat eating bastards.

ARTICLE