Lindsay Lohan and Rip Salsa enjoy each other

Lindsay is awesome!

Finally they leave you alone for doing something legal.

The only difference was I was driving a school bus.

When you try having a blog that has some consistency you need to stay at home and never leave! Bloggers who stay at home never get in trouble... If you have a neck tatoo, drive a school bus and have spent time at Walla-Walla they pick on you.

RIP "Macho Man" Randy Savage

The Macho Man died a few days ago. He kicked ass... what more do you want me to say?

I Love You Mom

Mother gets to go to Sizzler on me tonight!

Naked Gym

That’s right, a naked gym in Spain. Imagine doing the bench press and having Javier spot you. Seriously, think about that… or don’t.

What do you think it’ll look like when Hilda goes for her personal best in the squat? What about when Larry the hairy guy from Rome forgets to bring a towel? I can’t wait until that hottie shows up for her yoga session, or maybe I can wait.

Below is a video of Stephen Paea benching 225 lbs 49 times with clothes on, the NFL combine record. Just think how many reps he could’ve got without clothes.

Olive is the ugliest color

Australia has an idea for cigarettes. All cigarettes will be packaged in an ugly olive green package, researchers claim this is a color that's unappealing to most. 74% of my shits consist of this color so I see the correlation. They also want boring font for the brand name. It will be interesting to see how this goes. The NRA uses Australia as an example of what could happen in the USA, so I can see this becoming a issue for the NSA of America. You smoke because you smoke, if your young and smoke it is because others are drunk and smoking, smoking is for smokers. The Truth ads are useless to me, who the hell doesn't know smoking is bad? Rip Salsa knows.

It's Over! Robin Hood of beer has been caught.

I wish it would have never happened but it did, the streak is over at 100 cases of beer.

The Mexican sounding bandit, Santiago Martinez, was caught after "stealing" beer from multiple stores from Thanksgiving though Spring Break. The Texas based thief enjoyed 18-packs of beer and we all know all good beer comes in 18-packs. If you think about it the 18-pack is best suited for the beer dash. While dashing for beer, the 24 pack is a little too heavy and not shaped correctly, the 6-packs of classy beer are glass and damage much easier than a can, and why go 12-pack when the manufactures of fine beer make an 18-pack? Santiago it was a good run

Top 10 Tasered Moments

Not 10 but I got 6.

Philly Fan

The Don't Tase me Bro.

Drunk A's Fan "Come on! Take it easy on him"

Eric Estrada's testicle blast

Or your getting it again

Cop can not wait to taser fat black guy

Signs

Ingredients needed.
1 shot- Bitterness and anger caused by rural female turning you down and leaving with your 19 year old high school rivial.

7 oz- Peach Schnapps, slightly warm and from a plastic bottle.

1 shot- Conversation about the next stupid fucking tattoo you'll be getting on your shoulder that is meant to impress really hot rural chicks your individuality and coolness.

7 cans- Keystone light 16 oz.

1 dirt road- A road just far enough away from your parents trailer and isolated enough that you wont encounter that "Fucking" county sheriff.

1 truck- Preferably a Ford with Calvin pissing on something and MUST have that rusty hood
that helps keep your can from sliding when you stop to bullshit with a guy named Al.

1 gun- Any gun excluding a scatter rifle or shotgun.

7 cans- Whatever beer is left in the cooler.

1 friend- A friend with less pull than you, no car or pickup and goes wherever you go.

1 sign- Finally the anger and resentment of your life boils over and you have to shoot
something.

SHIRTLESS AND ARRESTED: Cops follow the trail – of beef jerky and cigarettes

The police work was incredible and Rip Salsa is sure they had to call in CSI to figure out who ripped off the Jackpot market of jerky, beer and cigarettes.  Sounds like a white trash version of the bread crumbs left by Hansel and Gretel.

ARTICLE #1

The middle of winter in Idaho brings out the 'Ground Hogs'.

There is a tradition as old as the wagon trains when it comes to Idaho and that tradition is going shirtless before the snow melts. Punxsutawney has the ground hog and Boise has the shirtless dude that is being pursued by the cops.    This shirtless deadbeat saw his shadow and Idaho is in for 6 more weeks of winter.

ARTICLE #2

Learning English is hard but singing is harder.

Rip Salsa loves those FW: emails you get that point out how Clinton was at fault for the mortgage crisis or my favorite
Are you patriotic enough?
Turns out from an online test Rip Salsa is

Somewhat Patriotic
He scored 63% US Philosophy, 70% American Pride, 33% Involvement, and 100% Citizen Status!

Getting a shitty score like Rip's score the committee for patriotic citizens require you to listen to this god awful video 12 times and then shoot yourself in the foot with an American made gun.
Uncle Sam is pissed!
Press one for English.
Don't they realize all you need is a balance on a credit card and America will welcome one and all.

Taser gun's inventor dies at 88

Cops mourn as news of Taser inventor death circulate throughout doughnut shops and mustache trimming shops and other places lawdogs hang out.

As a tribute to his memory amped up officers plan to use his product on every arrest today.

ARTICLE

Great interview

Man cuts hand off - again

A New Zealand man who nearly cut his hand off with a bandsaw had earlier almost cut off the same arm in another accident.


ARTICLE

This guy thinks we are all going to die

We are headed towards a food catastrophe in 2009 and the dude in the article has maps to prove it.

Stock up and store your cans of chili and saltines.

ARTICLE

Hell is coming for Breakfast...Awake to the wrath

I know my rights

Gotta Love the Passion, and Crying

Typical east coast NFL football loser.

Burger King Buys Back Into NASCAR

The King is back on the track after a year off to chase down foreigners who have never eaten a burger. They picked a team that had a driver that looks like he enjoys one or two Whoppers while wheeling around the track. Quoted in the article is David Root the head of Burger King's adult promotions and sponsorships as saying.

"the renowned loyalty of NASCAR fans is a prime reason for the fast food chain to get back on the track, and noted that the Burger King brand “resonates” well with NASCAR fans."

I think BK is a little wrong in this assessment, NASCAR fans just love grease and would just as likely pull over at McDonald's or Denny's (assuming their white) on the way home from a NASCAR event. It all depends on when they need to pee out the seven quarts of Busch Light they consumed as they sunburned their arms and big ass bellies during the race, and that's just the women.

NASCAR you go!

ARTICLE

Ace Frehley trashes Gene

The Happy Countries...Did yours make the list?

No North Korea and no Iraq and that was to be expected but I am guessing the British researchers who put this together didn't like George Bush and the Obama led United States will be on the 2009 list. The list doesn't help Bollywood, India ranked 125.

http://images.businessweek.com/ss/06/10/happiest_countries/index_01.htm?chan=rss_topSlideShows_ssi_5