RIP "Macho Man" Randy Savage

The Macho Man died a few days ago. He kicked ass... what more do you want me to say?

I Love You Mom

Mother gets to go to Sizzler on me tonight!

Thor – Everybody Wants A Piece of the Action

I used to know a guy who was in great shape, actually he was in too good of shape. He worked out five hours a day on top of working a meager job sweeping out warehouses filled with soda. He made very little money and whenever he’d encounter anyone of wealth he would say this, “If you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything.” What he was really saying was, “I better live longer than all those rich bastards.”

Well, that guy died a long time ago but still works out five hours a day. Weird, huh.

Oh, and speaking of muscles… here’s the THOR trailer they didn’t show you.

Naked Gym

That’s right, a naked gym in Spain. Imagine doing the bench press and having Javier spot you. Seriously, think about that… or don’t.

What do you think it’ll look like when Hilda goes for her personal best in the squat? What about when Larry the hairy guy from Rome forgets to bring a towel? I can’t wait until that hottie shows up for her yoga session, or maybe I can wait.

Below is a video of Stephen Paea benching 225 lbs 49 times with clothes on, the NFL combine record. Just think how many reps he could’ve got without clothes.

Anyone else really excited about humanized cow milk?

Rip Salsa will get depressed from time to time, long nights in the Concrete Mamma, early morning sex that doesn't last as long as I would like and deflated fun bags are just a few things that bring me down. I was doing my daily Google Alerts and felt a little creepy reading the one about scientist making a milk cow produce humanized milk, milk for babies and freaks that get off on some mommy complex. The first thought wasn't this is a great thing for humanity, nope, it was NO MORE DEFLATED FUN BAGS! The task of mothering a child and breast feeding has some consequences that are sometimes not too obvious to all. Before I met Carla, the love of my life, I would hang out at Patrick Malloy's in Hermosa Beach and pick up on the Agers (Older but still hanging out at the bar). I met a beautiful woman named Beth and we hit it off like most women who just met a guy they were willing to sleep with. We finished with the informal background checks, she realized she wouldn't be chopped into pieces and dumped in the pier, I realized I wouldn't be stalked and my house burned down with me naked, a belt around my neck in a murder-suicide.
She was beautiful, except she had deflated breasts from her 3 children, after making sweet love she started crying because of how she felt about her breasts. I made her feel better and said they really were beautiful breasts and she should go to one of those feel good doctors that work on building up peoples self esteem. I never saw her again.
I know this HUMANIZED MILK PROJECT wasn't started for the good of man, it was started because some poor scientist has a wife at home whose breast just aren't the same as when they got married. Rip Salsa still thinks this is a really bad idea! Freaky ass shit that has some unknown effect that can be talked away in the short term by the profit takers. You wont find those same profit takers when an army of zombies is formed by some freaky mutation caused by humanized cow milk. Stick to formula and breast pumps.

Climate Change Stabilization Specialist (Inter-Agency Liaison)

Can we please stop! Stop the bullshit, stop the "Inter-Agency Liaison" jobs that pop up.

Do you know what we do at WDCSD when someone asks the staff if it would be a good idea if WDCSD had an "Inter-Agency Liaison"? We punch them in the face for asking. You see we have contracts with all new employees that say with clear warning "Face punching is allowed." We don't subscribe to "There is no such thing as a dumb question", there are dumb questions in life. Don't ask me or expect me to put them here, I would have to punch you in the face. Do you know what else we punch people in the face for? When our "writers" put too many "quotations" in a post! The Feral Kid just punched me.

Over at Environmental Jobs Stopdodo they have a posting for a job with this requirement

"The Climate Change Stabilization Specialist (Inter-Agency Liaison) will be responsible for forging strong professional partnerships with other Federal Departments and Agencies in developing and implementing inter-agency efforts to combat the threat of climate change in cooperation with developing nations. In particular, s/he will also assist with the integration of democracy, governance and stabilization approaches with the USAID Climate Change Initiative(CCI)"

Talk about a do nothing but sound important job.

"Hey what do you do?"

"I'm in charge of forging strong professional partnerships and cooperation with others."

So if you have a Subaru Beard and love talking about what your going to do later after all these meetings please apply HERE. If you listen to guys like Seth Godin and others who tell you to SHIP and do something big, run the fuck away.

PUNCH!!!!

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It's Over! Robin Hood of beer has been caught.

I wish it would have never happened but it did, the streak is over at 100 cases of beer.

The Mexican sounding bandit, Santiago Martinez, was caught after "stealing" beer from multiple stores from Thanksgiving though Spring Break. The Texas based thief enjoyed 18-packs of beer and we all know all good beer comes in 18-packs. If you think about it the 18-pack is best suited for the beer dash. While dashing for beer, the 24 pack is a little too heavy and not shaped correctly, the 6-packs of classy beer are glass and damage much easier than a can, and why go 12-pack when the manufactures of fine beer make an 18-pack? Santiago it was a good run

Sammy Hagar Not Accused of Stuffing His Pants with a Cucumber but was Abducted by Aliens

Sammy says he couldn’t explain his abduction for a long time because he didn’t understand technology “but now I’m pretty sure it was a wireless situation.”

He also said David Lee Roth is a dick. But if there's ever a chest hair competition, David wins.

A Meat slick on Illinois Hwy

Parts is Parts

A meat spill was cleaned up on an Illinois hwy when a truck hauling "Reused animal rendering material" overturned. The spill was cleaned up by Cargill even though they said "It wasn't our fault" They headed out with a little Tide detergent and some cold water and made the road drivable again. The load was intended to be used as an ingredient in pet food. One of the workers got Kirstie Alley and Val Kilmer's autographs when they thought the smell was a road side taco vendor instead of a meat spill

George Michael random saxaphone video

Taking a dump and reading my iPad

I like to take my iPad into the shitter and get a good read in while I take care of a life task. I was Reading about Forbes top billionaires wondering how some guy that used to work for me was #1 on the list?

I was perplexed that I couldn't remember the last time I ate corn?

I was wondering what the fuck did Larry Ellison do to his face when my Google Alert for "Stupid ass shit that people pay CP+B for" twanged I had a new alert. The timing was impeccable, I was on the drop box with my iPad and CP+B was involved in a study that said people are unfocused
when they use the iPad for reading. No shit! My freaking email alerts for
Victor & Spoils alone sounds like a casino...DING DING DING DING DING DING add my alerts for shirtless man arrested, plungers, the shocker, meat accident, meat, processed meat and my iPad sounds like the start of an Aldo Nova song. I can't concentrate.

Phil Collins Retires – Here’s The Real Story

Phil claimed he retired but the real story is the famed Douglas County Fair retired him.

You see, old Phil wanted to perform at the legendary Fair in Roseburg, Oregon but he got rejected. They didn’t think he was up to snuff and told him they’d rather see if The Scorpions or Little River Band or Loverboy or Kenny Loggins or Alice Cooper or Ted Nugent or Diamond Rio or Billy Idol were available. Surprisingly most of them were.

Phil said he has hearing problems, nerve damage in his hands and a bad back – all because he’s was a drummer. I asked Jack Haynes, 68, who works at the local landfill and lifts heavy shit over his head on a daily basis and has done so since he was 18 years old (that’s fucking 40 years) and Jack said this, “Phil Collins is a pussy, but for some reason I liked the song Sussudio.” The next day, when his coworkers found out Jack liked that song, he was ‘accidentally’ run over by a backhoe.

Peter Gabriel even called Phil a pussy.

Wash your asshole

REDD FOXX a Colt.45 malt liquor guy before Billy Dee and has some funny shit you can find on Youtube.

He reminds of of something really important. Wash your ass.

Rip Salsa has a few more.

Play guitar with your asshole

Jog with your asshole



Hug your asshole


Promote your asshole

Top 10 Tasered Moments

Not 10 but I got 6.

Philly Fan

The Don't Tase me Bro.

Drunk A's Fan "Come on! Take it easy on him"

Eric Estrada's testicle blast

Or your getting it again

Cop can not wait to taser fat black guy

Give Me Sex Or I Kill The Dog.

This Dognapper's days are now spent behind bars.

He demanded $70 or some sex for the return of Pineapple the Dog.

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When you make macho movies and then complain to you boss please use spellcheck

WDCSD has a few rules when it comes to Email.
1. Never Email Drunk
The Never Email Drunk rule is the #1 always follow rule of the Internet for numerous reasons which includes sending Emails to your bosses and ex-girlfriends.
Michael Bay was unhappy about how "Transformers Duex" was being marketed an sent an after hours email to his bosses, his bosses released the email to the gossip king TMZ.
This brings WDCSD to rule # 2
2. Always use spell check when Emailing.
If your a professional sending an Email to other professionals try to make your Emails readable and grammatically correct,which ties into the #1 rule of Never Email Drunk, because if TMZ gets a hold of your Email you will get crushed.
The final WDCSD email rule should also be a Miller Lite Man Law rule.
3. Never sound like a pussy or try to sound Email Tough.
It never works to sound like a little baby when you complain on Email because you'll come off sounding like a pussy.

Michael Bay broke all three rules in WDCSD's opinion. When you try as hard to look Hollywood perfect like Michael Bay does this could nut punch Mikey Sally Bay where it hurts, the ego pocket book. Michael may be asked to direct the next Sandra Bullock movie instead of working on bad ass movies like "Bad Boys" or "The Rock" and instead be asked to work on the "Bad Boys the Musical". Also WDCSD loves the Michael Bay Phil Spector connection with the woman who killed herself.
The drunk/Bad Grammar/Pussy email was pointed out in an article by Greg Sandoval who covers media and digital entertainment for CNET News and has a great mustache.

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Shirtless Dad's Flock to BK after latest Gem

Targeting the 30 year old crowd who enjoys the sponge bob kid's meal?

Droves of Shirtless Dad's singing this song as they reward their new girlfriend's kid with a cheeseburger and fries with the promise of not coming into the bedroom later that evening.

After five years of milking the Subservient Chicken and getting used to the creepy headed BK guy and that dude that used to go by HOOTIE now singing country music for real.  The luster of the cute chicken is lessened.  Hell PETA can't even get any run off the King anymore.  I don't blame Rob for turning his back on BK money for the Golden Ticket of MS, Rip Salsa would too.  Rip needs a golden ticket to pay off the Los Angeles water bill for my new office water fountain.

SHIRTLESS AND ARRESTED: Cops follow the trail – of beef jerky and cigarettes

The police work was incredible and Rip Salsa is sure they had to call in CSI to figure out who ripped off the Jackpot market of jerky, beer and cigarettes.  Sounds like a white trash version of the bread crumbs left by Hansel and Gretel.

ARTICLE #1

The middle of winter in Idaho brings out the 'Ground Hogs'.

There is a tradition as old as the wagon trains when it comes to Idaho and that tradition is going shirtless before the snow melts. Punxsutawney has the ground hog and Boise has the shirtless dude that is being pursued by the cops.    This shirtless deadbeat saw his shadow and Idaho is in for 6 more weeks of winter.

ARTICLE #2

What the hell is up with Hugo Chavez's finger?

Even Cowgirls get the Blues but I didn't know Venezuela's president Hugo Chavez has the blues too. Check out his FINGER....FREAKY.

Man tasered, arrested after mobile home park rampage

Just can't get enough shirtless dude trailer park taser arrests.
This article has some of Whateverdrugscarsalesmendo favorite words.

Trailer Park
Rampage
taser
ransacked
shirtless

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