CP+B does a good job with latest PC commercial

I like Lauren.  I like the Whopper Virgins voice over guy too.

Turns out she is an actress and she could most likely afford the Mac but it proves the point that Microsoft, even with it's iron balls isn't going to let Mac just keep kicking them in the nuts.

Good job CD of the Microsoft account who ever you are.

Who doesn't love a good McDonald's shooting?

Another McDonald's shooting.

This shooting involves a sawed off shotgun, drive through, breakfast menu and no deaths.

As Ronald's web of franchises increases so do random shootings involving employees.

The rule for working at McDonald's is to avoid getting shot because McDonald's is likely to find an excuse why you shouldn't get your medical bills paid.  

Steps to avoid getting shot while working at McDonald's.

1. Quit and begin to sell weed to the public.  Both are equally good/bad.

2. Grab your full-time manager, as he/she will have insurance and can afford to get a shotgun blast to the face.

3. Pack heat while working.

4. Expose your penis at work.  This gives you a work story later in life, no one works at McDonald's long enough to recall whether it was you...Really who puts McDonald's on a resume?

5. Quit.

6. Bloody your hand at work like Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler.

7. Quit

8. Say "Nice tits Grandma" and see if you get fired. (see #4)

9. Belittle your manager who lives in the same apartment complex as you do.

10. Ask patrons to look up "Pink Sock" on Urban Dictionary and if they don't know what it is be sure to tell them.

ARTICLE

Water War

Greedy assholes fight for oil.

Everyone will fight for water.

CRAPPY VIDEO OF THE WEEK

Not quite sure what the hell is going on here?
This guy is explaining how his dad's place is now a 'recording studio' for AIR.
Air is the band that dresses like oompa loompas in the T.V. room where that kid Mikey is miniaturized (2:40 in the above video). Air performs "Sexy Boy" in Gil Junger's 10 things I hate about you. Next time you hear from them they will be on the new Dune soundtrack.

Miley Cyrus: Wine or Cottage Cheese

Top Hollywood fathers gather in secret places to hate on Billy Ray Cyrus for the machine they wish was their creation. All creatures who live off their young strive for the success Billy got from his toothy seedling.  Look at those choppers!  Did Billy throw one up in Carly Simon and Miley was the result?
WDCSD asks the question: Will she be like Wine and with age her value will continue to grow, or will it be like milk?

We love lists: Top 25 of Twitter must follow list.

We love a good list. My favorite list-What parts of Pam Anderson won't rot when she dies?

This is a great list about Twitter. Twitter is useful and fun unless you have a fool of a friend that tells you everything his is doing.

"I just made a fish taco"

"Hey! it's off to bed"

Fuck those guys this is the Twitter list of lists. Guys with beards, sports, entertainment, hot chicks and hot guys to follow.

The first one is a funny one from Rainn Wilson.

'Prace' Def. - A race between two Priuses.

ARTICLE

Dennis Hopper initiates Rainn Wilson
by filmindependent

Watchmen: Like a teenager starts fast and ends fast.

Zack Snyder is blamed for the quick death of Watchman. It was told thousands of times that it wouldn't work.  R-rated comic book?  Rip thinks the pregnant lady getting shot killed the date movie crowd.

Zach just needs to grow a beard.

But once again if Hollywood loves you...No problem.  If you take a bullet for a McDonald's customer you can't even get your medical bills paid.

ARTICLE

RIP SALSA SPOTTED AT A HOLLYWOOD PARTY

Rip likes to keep his groove in the background.  Rip is the Bigfoot of Hollywood, mainly blurry photos so this is a rare one.  WDCSD wanted to give you a glimpse of Rip partying with Stix...Not really with Stix but in the background, the tall dude that seems to have it all going on is Rip Salsa.

STIX * Grammy 09 * Ne-Yo After Party * Social Hollywood - For more of the funniest videos, click here

Alex Bogusky has taken on the role of 'Bike Jesus'

Front man Alex Bogusky and his apostles of bicycling have gathered in Denver to release the word of sharing a bike with others.

First apostle Dave Kingsberry is the leading proponent of the share bike program along with Trek Bikes and the health care company Humana rallied to a common cause and have put together a bike share program that will give NFL players more people to hit in the off season while commuting from the bar to the strip club.

Sounds like a neat program when all the bikes are shiny and new. It will work like someone buying soda pop with their food stamps. How do people treat the bikes in other places that have had bike share programs?

Typical Alex feel good stuff. Bang 'em and leave.

Annual seal hunt underway

Clubs in Canada are much different that the ones in Las Vegas...Unless your name is Javon Walker.

Let the seal beatings begin.

ARTICLE

Matt Lauer, PETA's New Enemy

Pam doesn't care if you look at her tits, but when you run down a deer on your bike... that pisses her off. Matt Lauer is screwed. PETA's next move is to outlaw bikes.

Crappy Video of the Week

Bo Bice. Just look at him. Even Ryan Kutscher thinks Bo needs a face full of fist. Lynyrd Skynyrd shits bigger than Bo.

John Stewart has jumped the shark. Anyone under 26 think he's funny?

Fucking Jon Stewart. He used to be funny. His bit now is... say something-pause-funny eyes- Repeat.

Then.

The now

Truth, starring Ron Paul

The only honest politician in America - Ron Paul.

Businessweek dedicated three pages to kissing Crispin's golden ass.

CP+B purrs coolness and self promotion where others just do the work of their clients.  Why not Rob Schwartz of TBWA or Maurice Saatchi who has the title of LORD?  Who knows.  WDCSD

hasn't heard about those guys painting their nails or riding bikes for creativity.

ARTICLE

Ron Silver: RIP...His beard will be missed

Rip Salsa salutes Ron Silver for being an actor with a beard in Hollywood.
He played serious rolls.
He died today.
ARTICLE

CRAPPY VIDEO OF THE WEEK

Does anyone remember Ryan Cabrera? Anyone? Jessica Simpson's Dad is his manager which seems like a great career move. Jessica's dad looks like your typical Hollywood try-to-hard to look as hip as the youngsters he represents and fails miserably.  Ryan bleeds cheese and Rip Salsa is sure there is a pack of depressed biggie girls that would love to hit Ry-dog.  In 2oo4 he came out with "Say" and WDCSD love him so much!

Meat Spill leaves giant sausages strewn across Interstate 43

Pam Anderson should be calling soon as word spreads faster than her legs about a meat spill in Illinois. A semi-truck full of 2 foot sausages was strewn across the interstate and that always draws a crowd in Illinois. Joey Chesnut was called in to clean up the mess and Pam was chartering a jet.
Pam was quoted as saying

"When Tommy and I get together there is always a meat spill in Malibu."

ARTICLE

Boogers and farts: Science Center’s top pick

The best advice to give someone stuck in a room full of little children who are learning how to vomit, pass gas or pick their nose is to run like hell. 

ARTICLE

MAN AND WIFE SUE ALEX BOGUSKY AND BK FOR BEAR ATTACK. MEAT SCENTED SPRAY COLOGNE BLAMED

A British man and his wife are suing Alex Bogusky and Burger King for their hair-brained idea of making meat scented cologne. A man and his wife were attacked by a black bear on a recent camping trip to Ontario Canada. Within minutes of spraying himself with FLAME ™ by BK® a black bear wandered into the campsite of Mr. & Mrs. Howard Frord and attacked the unsuspecting campers. Black bears are usually docile creatures that fear man and up to this point had never attacked any humans in the Canadian Park. Mr. Howard Frord thinks something triggered the black bear to awake from deep hibernation, dig through several feet of snow and attack defenseless humans. The Frord’s lawyer James H. Hopiltlity claim that it was the FLAME ™ by BK®, a meat scented cologne marketed by BK and promoted by Crispin Porter & Bogusky’s [CP+B] brain child Alex Bogusky, who runs the creative department and claims all good ideas CP+B has ever created. The meat scented spray cologne was being worn by Mr. Howard Frord for the first time. Mrs. Frord was attacked and severely mauled by the bear and sustained permanent physical damage. Mr. Frord lost several fingers and no longer has feeling in one of his arms from the attack. Mr. Frord in a trembling voice stated, “I will never be able to compete in an American style demolition derby.”

During a recent interview James H. Hopiltlity stated, “The attack has left both Mr. and Mrs. Howard Frord with physical and mental scars that will never go away”. Continuing James H. Hopiltlity recalls a story Mrs. Frord told the lawyer, “I wake up in a cold sweat with the image of a giant fiberglass head of the Burger King with a bear-like body attacking me.” "My clients are asking for 3.7 million dollars in compensation for the pain and suffering inflicted by these attacks." Mr. Hopiltlity also names Crispin Porter & Bogusky in the suit, “There are no warnings anywhere on the advertising that states there will be the potential for animal attacks.” “This travesty is far worse than spilling hot coffee on your crotch.”

The web page promoting the FLAME ™ by BK® has no visible warnings and only endorses the product.
Under the About section of the web advertising you find “The Whopper Sandwich is America’s favorite burger. FLAME ™ by BK® captures the essence of that love and gives it to you. Behold the scent of seduction with a hint of flame broiled meat.”

Nowhere does it say WARNING BEARS WILL ATTACK YOU.

JJ Abrams combines what America wants: Young HOT and Star Trek

Thank god the Priceline guy is too old to protest the remake of his beloved character Kirk who is being played by the younger, hotter and of course still relevant to Hollywood, Chris Pine.

The new Star Trek buzz will start very soon and you'll always get the old guy who thinks new renditions of movies suck, and with Adam Sandler and Chris Rock the old guy is correct, but most movie goers are ready for Star Trek again or many haven't been bit by the bug. (Who doesn't remember Khan putting a bug in Chekov's ear?)

JJ Abrams is playing it right in Hollywood with his list of successes. Cloverfield had one of the coolest trailers ever, executive producer on LOST has to taste good and Felicity, WB went away after Felicity was done. He is golden in the things he touches.

Hollywood love JJ Abrams.

Star Wars: The Television Show?

What fun is waiting outside your friends Mom and Dad's house for the upcoming Star Wars?

Will you still dress up in your Vader outfit on Halloween? George Lucas is setting up for the biggest failure yet. Star Wars on television just doesn't sound right. SWTV? If this shit takes off and makes money we can expect Jurassic Park TV, Harry Potter TV and other money generating Hollywood franchises to come to the small screen.

DO IT GEORGE...YOUR BEARD COMMANDS YOU!

ARTICLE

Tranformation of Rachael Ray

Rachel Ray has a cooking show. Many of her recipes are for the busy household and involve crackers, Noodles, butter, bacon, beer and cheese all good tastin' foods.
I am sure that if she gets canceled she has a job waiting for her much like Valerie Bertinelli or Marie Osmond.

Katie Couric takes it on the television

This Blast from the past is Rip Salsa's Desktop Screen saver. Katie did a brave thing by letting America see the inside of her ass and WDCSD wants to remind everyone in the age demographic to continue to get checked for colon cancer. Is there anything wrong with opening the nightly news with her colonoscopy? A Katie ass update on every Friday? Every guest opens with...How is your ass Katie?

Thanks Katie!

SHIRTLESS AND ARRESTED: Cops follow the trail – of beef jerky and cigarettes

The police work was incredible and Rip Salsa is sure they had to call in CSI to figure out who ripped off the Jackpot market of jerky, beer and cigarettes.  Sounds like a white trash version of the bread crumbs left by Hansel and Gretel.

ARTICLE #1

The middle of winter in Idaho brings out the 'Ground Hogs'.

There is a tradition as old as the wagon trains when it comes to Idaho and that tradition is going shirtless before the snow melts. Punxsutawney has the ground hog and Boise has the shirtless dude that is being pursued by the cops.    This shirtless deadbeat saw his shadow and Idaho is in for 6 more weeks of winter.

ARTICLE #2

CRAPPY VIDEO OF THE WEEK

Some songs only work when your in the first part of a relationship, this one hits the hardest.

Your buddies ask you if you had to listen to 'If your gone' to get laid. A grenade song.

Dr. Manhattan's giant blue penis stars in WATCHMEN

Before WATCHMEN opened with a 4.55 million dollars midnight showing and chatter about it being a 60 million dollar weekend, there was a different bit of gossiping going on about the movie. The talk of the movie isn't about how Zack Snyder tried to tackle Watchmen when the creator of the famous novel said it will suck, or why has the Watchmen project had been floating around Hollywood for 20 years and never made, the rumble is about the giant blue penis.
Dr. Manhattan's blue dipstick is the talk of the blogs and reviews.
WDCSD would like to help! 22 seconds into the clip check out Manhy's bat.

Having Exotic Pets Never Seems To Pay: APE ATTACK

Whacked out on drugs and suffering from Lyme disease a crazed ape attacks the woman who raised him from infancy.

Stick with nice dogs and pampered cats.  Here is a LIST OF EXOTIC ANIMAL ATTACKS just to prove WDCSD's point.

It just puts you in a different class of wacko owning weird animals like snakes, rats, tigers, cougars, gators or monkeys.  We love the shirtless, the meat grinder accidents, the fact Pam Anderson wont rot after she dies, Alex Bogusky being Alex Bogusky but we do find wild animals living in apartments as lame beyond all other lame items reported.

ARTICLE

Pamala Anderson Co-writes book with Alex Bogusky

Former Baywatch star is writing a biography of her dating life and has hired Alex Bogusky to help her write it. Pamala Anderson has led a life under the microscope of Hollywood and always finds a way to stay in the lime light of stardom with little or no talent other than her constructed looks. The Barbie -like star met Alex Bogusky at a Red Robin in Portland Oregon and struck up a conversation about current projects and it turned out they had very simular ideas for a book.

T.O Out in Dallas

Jerry Jones is the ultimate tool when it comes to managing personnel and managing his facelift.

The Cowboys make headlines again... and for the 'Boys, headlines matter not titles.

100 million viewers check out Youtube in January

The world wasted over 1 million work days watching youtube in January.  Good job Youtube!

ARTICLE

Three words that should never be muttered in the same sentence "Pig Brain Mist"

No it isn't the new cologne idea from Alex Bogusky or Ryan Kutscher "just throwing some ideas" out to the Coen Brothers, this actually was a disease. A neurological disorder linked to their inhalation of aerosolized pig brains, 24 pork plant workers have regained their health. If it was Rip Salsa it would read former pork plant worker because aerosolized pig brains sounds like something out of a James Wan movie and not something WDCSD staffers should have to read about in the general news. Also the article mentioned a scientist named DYCK and that's funny to some. I really love meat and haven't really considered going vegan, not because I think being vegan is stupid or abnormal, only because as a child I saw an older vegan lady with a really hairy bush. When you see something like a giant hairy vegan bush it sticks with you for life! But when I hear "Play Misty for Me" it's ruined.

HOLLYWOOD HISTORY --- 1979 had Lyle Waggoner

Lyle had style.

No one could tuck their junk like Lyle Waggoner and still be elected mayor of Encino California, keep the streak going as a successful business man with Star Waggons Inc, the largest supplier of studio location rental trailers and still live with himself after selling "Y-Bron".

The dude got to hang with the original Wonder Woman and that is sure to hold a lot more clout than all the shit that is going on with the new Wonder Woman movie. That project is bound for the straight to DVD/Blueray death.

Hollywood goes for Brett Ratner and Brett loves it. Brett to direct Youngbloods

You don't think struggling when you think of Brett Ratner unless you think Brett finding out that it was a guy that gave him his first blow job a struggle. Perhaps you view giving a child rapist a part in the Rush Hour franchise a struggle, but who doesn't enjoy seeing Roman Polanski using his finger on some dudes? The guy has status and would suck the soul out of a young child to stay there because having what Hollywood gives you is AWESOME.

Brett Ratner lands the directing job for the optioned project "Youngblood" a Rob Liefeld creation. A project like Youngblood reached legendary status, or in some minds sell out status when President Obama made the cover of one of the novels.

The lesson in all of this is the powerful of Hollywood loves beards.

Who would have expected that the words "comic book conventions" and "fashionable" would be uttered in the same sentence?

This isn't Richie Rich or Casper the friendly ghost, this is big, bad and shits out gold coins.

This is bad ass dudes with the potential to make lots of money for Hollywood.

Comics are cool.

Hellboy, Sin City, 300 and now Angel of Death are comics that are being made into movies.

The one thing that may bring all of this down is Tom Cruise wanting his piece of the pie. Let's face it Tom touching something turns it sour or makes it look like a young cabin boy.

ARTICLE

CRAPPY VIDEO OF THE WEEK

Short lived but the dating history and really bad political moves shape her now irreverent career.
Dumped by a guy with one nut and some dude named Big Head help but the desert background and the REALLY serious looks make this video extremely lame.
Angered by all the money she made and her future is that of a crusader and not a rocker make this classic Sheryl Crow Video our Crappy Video of the Week.